Stuck with netlink, connektor, socket and co - sockets

Question

I'm completely new to netlink & co. and I am trying to establisch a connection from user space to the w1-kernel module of a raspberry pi.
Unfortunately the documentation i found is spotty and contradictory.
Here some of the things not clear to me:
basic communication is:
generate a socket: socket()
int s = socket(AF_NETLINK,SOCK_DGRAM, NETLINK_CONNECTOR);
bind it to a local name: bind()
int b = bind(s,(sockaddr*)&sa,sizeof(sa));
with
sa.nl_family=AF_NETLINK;
sa.nl_pid=getpid();//0?
sa.nl_groups=0; //23? -1?
create the message
send it: send()? sendmsg()?
wait for answer: poll()
read answer: recv()
+In examples i found (w1d.c and ucon.c) they use the send() command (not sendmsg) without a connect(), even though the man pages of send say that wouldnt work.
+I am not clear about the structure of the message:
send can send any buffer (char*)
netlink expects a struct nlmsghdr header;
connector expects a struct cn_msg header.
w1_netlink expects a w1_netlink_msg header and w1_netlink_cmd data.
Do i need all headers in a row? Ther are 2 sequence / message number variables, one in nlmsghdr and on in cn_msg???
The test program i wrote is not producing the result i expect: every thing works withour producing an error but i am getting no answer :-(
#include <iostream>
#include <linux/netlink.h>
#include <sys/types.h>
#include <sys/socket.h>
#include<sys/poll.h>
#include <unistd.h>
#include<cstring>
#include "w1_netlink.h"
__u32 nl_seq;
static int netlink_send(int s, struct cn_msg *msg) //copy from (ucon.c)
{
struct nlmsghdr *nlh;
unsigned int size;
int err;
char buf[128];
struct cn_msg *m;
size = NLMSG_SPACE(sizeof(struct cn_msg) + msg->len);
nlh = (struct nlmsghdr *)buf;
nlh->nlmsg_seq = nl_seq++;
nlh->nlmsg_pid = getpid();
nlh->nlmsg_type = NLMSG_DONE;
nlh->nlmsg_len = size;
nlh->nlmsg_flags = 0;
m = (cn_msg*) NLMSG_DATA(nlh);
memcpy(m, msg, sizeof(*m) + msg->len);
err = send(s, nlh, size, 0);
return err;
}
int main(int argc, char *argv[])
{
nl_seq=0;
int s = socket(AF_NETLINK,SOCK_DGRAM, NETLINK_CONNECTOR);
if(s==-1) {std::cout<<"no socket"; return s;};
std::cout<<"socket "<<s;
sockaddr_nl sa;
sa.nl_family=AF_NETLINK;
sa.nl_pid=0;//getpid();
sa.nl_groups=0;
int b = bind(s,(sockaddr*)&sa,sizeof(sa));
if(b==-1){std::cout<<"bind error";return b;}; //prints 3
std::cout<<"bind "<<b; //prints 0
int si=sizeof(struct cn_msg)+sizeof(struct w1_netlink_msg)+sizeof(w1_netlink_cmd);
char * buf;
buf=(char *)malloc(1024);
memset(buf,0,1024);
cn_msg *cnh = (cn_msg*)buf;
w1_netlink_msg* wnh=(w1_netlink_msg*)&cnh->data;
w1_netlink_cmd* wcmd = (w1_netlink_cmd*)&wnh->data;
cnh->id.idx=CN_W1_IDX;
cnh->id.val=CN_W1_VAL;
cnh->seq=nl_seq;
cnh->flags=0;
wnh->type=W1_LIST_MASTERS;
wnh->len=0;
cnh->len=sizeof(struct w1_netlink_msg)+sizeof(w1_netlink_cmd);
int len=netlink_send(s,cnh);
std::cout<<"send "<<len<<" "<<(int)wnh->status; //prints 52 0
pollfd pfd;
pfd.fd=s;
pfd.events=POLLIN;
pfd.revents=0;
int p=0;
while(p<1) {
p=poll(&pfd,1,1000);
std::cout<<"poll "<<p<<pfd.revents; //prints 0 0 in infinite loop
std::cout.flush();
};
memset(wcmd,0,128);
len=recv(s,buf,255,0);
std::cout<<"recv "<<len;
close(s);
return 0;
}
Result is socket 3 bind 0 send 52 0 poll 00 poll 00 ...
Thanks